Kara Anderson, a contributor at DailyWorth.com, recently posted: Why I'm Not Apologizing Anymore http://tinyurl.com/ks3yass
As outlined in my favorite philosophy book of all time, Alice in Wonderland: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March Hare.
`Exactly so,' said Alice.
`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.'
`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
When someone uses a word like "sorry" 14 dozen times a day, it loses meaning and impact. Like it's a get-out-of-jail-free card. Little kids hate to apologize because they must confront their errors. By middle school, they've figured out it's an I.O.U. they'll never bother to make good on, just a convenient escape. A pacifier the recipient is obliged to accept, regardless of sincerity, simply because we're supposed to. Any question about the issuer's remorse is outside the bounds of convention and brings righteous indignation. Doing so questions the apologizer's honesty.
An apology is not an amends. It's an admission of the act. What follows is the amends, the remedial intent to make things right again. A mending.
Once I asked a chronic apologist "What does that mean?"
They expressed shock that I would question their remorse. "What do you mean, what do I mean?"
"I mean, What does 'sorry' mean to you when you say it? Does it mean you promise not to do that anymore?"
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less...When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra."
So when I ask you what you mean, I need to understand your definition.
Thanks to Kirsten Lamb at: https://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/
As outlined in my favorite philosophy book of all time, Alice in Wonderland: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'
`Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she added aloud.
`Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?' said the March Hare.
`Exactly so,' said Alice.
`Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.
`I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know.'
`Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. `You might just as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat what I see"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'
`You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'
When someone uses a word like "sorry" 14 dozen times a day, it loses meaning and impact. Like it's a get-out-of-jail-free card. Little kids hate to apologize because they must confront their errors. By middle school, they've figured out it's an I.O.U. they'll never bother to make good on, just a convenient escape. A pacifier the recipient is obliged to accept, regardless of sincerity, simply because we're supposed to. Any question about the issuer's remorse is outside the bounds of convention and brings righteous indignation. Doing so questions the apologizer's honesty.
An apology is not an amends. It's an admission of the act. What follows is the amends, the remedial intent to make things right again. A mending.
Once I asked a chronic apologist "What does that mean?"
They expressed shock that I would question their remorse. "What do you mean, what do I mean?"
"I mean, What does 'sorry' mean to you when you say it? Does it mean you promise not to do that anymore?"
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less...When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra."
So when I ask you what you mean, I need to understand your definition.
Thanks to Kirsten Lamb at: https://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/